A Midsummer Night’s Dream: Leroy Van Dyke - Auctioneer (6 December 1992)

Buy this at Discogs

I always hated that record and I still do, but if I can make one listener happy here on BFBS, then I’m prepared to sacrifice almost anything. (John Peel, 6 December 1992)

In 1992, the world of the auctioneer was a closely guarded, elitist world. They only came to widespread attention when a piece of art was sold at Christie’s or Sotheby’s for a world record fee. Over the last 20 odd years though, thanks to the likes of Bargain Hunt, Cash in the Attic, Flog It! and The Great Antiques Hunt, their work is now the fodder of daytime television.  By contrast, the work of the agricultural auctioneer, with their impenetrable jargon and machine gun patter remains a world of mystery.  Though there was a time when the media would have been far more likely to provide coverage of cattle auctioneering than art/antiques auctioneering.  Growing up in the early 1980s, television on Sunday mornings basically meant three topics: religious broadcasting, specialist broadcasting (usually shows for people with disabilities such as See Hear or the Brian Rix  hosted Let’s Go, foreign language programming, Open University  or magazine shows for ethnic minorities) or farming programmes.  If I felt in the mood for a bit of farming on a Sunday morning, I’d usually tune to TSW and watch Ron Bendell invariably end up most weeks at a cattle auction where he would cover issues that were affecting the farming industry in the Westcountry, and end most weeks with the cattle auctioneer jabbering his (and it nearly always was a he) incomprehensible yet mesmeric sales patter.  They could be speaking in tongues for all I knew.  When TSW lost its franchise to ITV Westcountry, Bendell swapped the cattle markets for the weather map becoming lead weather forecaster on the evening news bulletins. While researching this post, I learnt that Bendell had died, just before Christmas 2021, at the age of 67. I don’t usually do this kind of thing here, but I’d like to dedicate this selection to him.

Released on Dot Records in 1956, Auctioneer tells the tale of a young boy who spends his free time mimicking the rhythms and cadences of cattle auctioneers to the detriment of his schoolwork.  However, encouraged by his father the boy goes on to live out his dream and become an auctioneer.  Leroy Van Dyke, who co-wrote the song with Buddy Black, wasn’t just picking a random subject here, but based it on the early life and career of his cousin, Ray Sims, who is credited with introducing the fast paced, patter style mode of delivery at cattle auctions and in so doing, revolutionised the way in which cattle auctions were run.  Sims’s method allowed for higher numbers of lots to be bought and sold and also made auctions run more quickly.  As the link shows though, Sims’s influence and accomplishments in his field went way beyond just how auctions were run, though it will be what he’s always going to be remembered for in the wider world.  Patter songs are, by their nature always going to divide taste between those who find them catchy and those who find them irritating. If you’re in the former camp, we have the benefit of a lyrics video allowing us to try and sing along with Van Dyke on the chorus.

Despite his dislike for Auctioneer, Peel included it on the playlist for this show as it was requested by regular correspondent, Lance Bombardier Gerald T. Fox, who had seen a number of requests ignored by Peel over recent weeks. Although Peel didn’t have a copy of it himself, the BFBS record library had the track on an album called Country and Western Stars Sing Their Biggest Hits which featured several other titles which piqued Peel’s interest such as Can’t You Take It Back and Change It For a Boy by Rex Allen and I’ll Just Have Another Cup of Coffee (Then I’ll Go) by Claude Gray.

Video courtesy of AMG Songs